My soul
by Qit ChioChi
Summary: Very Short;  Sesshomaru remembers a special someone from his past.


I do not own InuYasha.

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><p><strong>Soul<strong>

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><p>Sesshomaru sighed, a cool class of brandy in his hand, the perfect view of Tokyo right outside his window. Something that held him in awe, the power of the human mind, and yet he could not be surprised. He knew how powerful humans of this era could be. He found that out long ago.<p>

A small nudge caught his attention, a small demon raccoon stared at him with shining blue eyes. Another painful memory racked through his system. One that was both welcoming and shunned. It didn't help that tonight was the night, almost six hundred years ago, they were supposed to be wed. She a full demon, he finally happy and content with what life had to give him.

If fate had been kind, she would have been the one to keep him company last night, and not some strange girl who was after his money, his looks, some candy.

Sesshomaru grinned despite himself. If fate had been kind, he never would have laid eyes on the human girl.

"Do you remember?" he murmured while the coon snuggled into his aide. He laid his head back, staring at the ceiling while it reflected the consolations of a dark night sky. "That night we found you. I threw out all of her school books, and she was adamant and refused to see me for days, and then you came along; my savoir. Wounded…" he scratched the animal's ears, "and venerable, she said she would never forgive me if I didn't help." Sesshomaru chuckled to himself and closed his eyes, "We had our first kiss that night."

The raccoon tensed, used to the rage that came with his monologue, but inuyokai remained still, calm. The rage had long died out, over the years he realized that being angry destroying everything would only make things worse. Like the time he broke her favorite mirror. One she cherished,

"_It's the first thing you gave me." _She'd say.

"_Does it matter; I can obtain a much better one."_

"_If you can replace anything so easily then what does that say about your feelings towards me?"_

He angry face, why was it that he could only remember her angry face? Because it was so beautiful? Because she was the only one who dared show it and yet not try to kill him?

It hurt him; yes it still hurt him that she chose death rather than him. She forced him to live in a world where she did not exist, a world full of selfish and undesirable people.

"Heh…" he chuckled as the cold night air blew across his face; the glass he had been holding had managed to escape through the glass.

No, he was beyond the point of rage, the point of fear and confusion, all he could feel was pain. After all these years, the only thing he saw when he closed his eyes was his body, drenched in blood and lying in his arms.

Too late, he had come too late.

Stupid, idiotic, he should have known what was going on, why she was acting so complacent, so humble, and so submissive. He'd thought she understood, understood that no matter what she was worth it. Worth his whole kingdom, his life, his soul and she went off and threw it all away. Like it was nothing, and taking his blade with her, so he couldn't bring her break.

That hurt more, to know that she was thorough in making sure she could not return, what was worse, he could not ask why.

"_Don't lie to me, and tell me it does not matter, even if it's a slight annoyance, a major pain it is still a problem. Sesshomaru, I'm not even supposed to be here, this is not my time. If I ever see you again, then let it be because I belong there, not because you're going against fate. Please Sesshomaru, just give up, let me die. If that's the price for your sake, then let it be so." _

When a full-fledged yokai pledges his love and mates with a human, his soul is forfeit and when he dies, there is no afterlife, he just ceases to exsist. "Was this the life you wanted for me..?" he asked out loud, angry tears flowing down his face, "Because I still lost my soul." this night, the night they were to be married, a life full of laughter and love gone, because someone wanted some bloodline pure a bloodline that was hunted down year ago.

" I love you."

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><p>A small note, inspired by InuYasha; final act, and the ending theme "Dearest."<p>

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